Hi Sue!

Great story! It's good to hear those, and especially on this subject.. It's just a very sticky thing to be sure.. You have a person in their own little prison that is looking for an escape they can't find, yet at the same time they are too proud to ask for that help..

I equate it (jokingly) to a dude who can't back up a trailer.. Yup, it's about the same.. I know a lot of dudes like that.. You see them trying to back a trailer down the boat ramp or in the driveway and they are struggling- you want desperately to tell the "hey man, it's like this...", but in doing so you put a dent in their pride.. You just can't do that. Instead you gotta let 'em figure it out on their own. It's frustrating to witness, painful to watch, simple to remedy, and forbidden to address.. When it all 'comes together' though, you can talk about it all you want and even joke about.

I've been doing some fishing around. One on one, it's pretty amazing how quick folks will divulge thoughts. In a group though, it turns into a situation where folks tell of really bad things done or seen in a tempo set by bravado. I'm thinking this- and you guys may think I'm nuts because it's likely you're just not familiar with the culture: Those tales of bravado "I've seen ____" or "I've done ____" are confessions.  That is precisely what they are when you look past the first layer.

I'm going to tell 'yall one of my (in)famous tales.. Stand by...

I was taking a course on the gathering of intel, and the value of things you don't realize have ANY value, and how it all fits together if you have the proper 'filter'.... The instructor used a sweet little analogy to explain. I use this analogy all the time now when there is a breakdown in communication.. (disclaimer: I'm the worlds worst communicator as I often 'go off' on somebody long after the 'breakdown' has happened)...

Maps..

There are six colors on a map. Green: Land, vegetation.. Brown: land, dirt/sand.. Blue: water.. Black: man made objects or super-imposed features such as grids.. Red: roads, trails, paths, ect.. Yellow: Items of interest such as warnings..

If you lay a map out on the table and stand a group of six people around it you can get everyone on the same page pretty quick.. All you have to do is orientate them.. They know what the colors represent and can find a way to 'relate'.. They are communicating in other words.. IF, however, you hand each person in that group a different set of sunglasses, each with a different hue, they will hopelessly argue.. The guy with the blue hued glasses, under any circumstances, won't be able to see the blue and will be blind to water.. The guy with green won't realize there is water there.. ect...

The facilitator will watch in evil amusement. He can watch these guys argue until each of them fall over because they just can't relate to each other. Any of the six will never agree on what they are looking at or how to go about ANYTHING.. Unless... Unless their is some sort of trust present. If'n there is trust one can look at the other and say "you can't go that way because you're going to get wet dude", and the other can say "thanks dude, but watch out for the 'floggin Sahara there pal".. That trust is crucial. That trust is impossible too without experience... Or, at least, it would be with me.

Any dang way, the instruction about intel was focused on not being able to see the vantage/importance of  stuff the 'puppet master' can, because only he knows what color shades your wearing. It is relevant here because- even within the community I'm targeting, each vantage differs greatly. I KNOW how I perceived something, but the dude right beside me has had his own- and entirely different- experience.. It's one dang convoluted situation in other words.. It's like nailing jello to the wall.

I don't know what the solution to this is or even if there is one.. I feel though, that there is.. I'm thinking several things... I'm thinking it's an intensely personal evolution... I'm thinking I don't have a clue what the other person sees, feels, hears or has come to believe and that reaching them involves a huge parcel of manipulation which isn't fair. I'm thinking that all you can do is stand beside them. I'm thinking the ladies who do (or men) are angels. I'm also thinking there is a lifetimes worth of song material and study of the human condition hiding right here as that is precisely what it is.. My topic was war... It could be losing a loved one under terrible circumstances (or any for that matter), it could be watching the development of something profound that you couldn't stop or intercept..

It's ALL positive though. It's not a drag on chi at all once you lay it on the table, dissect it, and study the vantages... It is what it is- it's the absolute definition of our placement in this world and what we do with it- it's our opportunity in other words.. For some it sucks and for others it doesn't seem that bad..

Life is good 'yawl...







SEE? I TOLD YOU I WOULD FIND SOMETHING PROFOUND OUT OF ALL THAT EVEN IF'N YOUUNS BE THINKIN ME NUTSO...