You all share so well…so meaningfully.  My fear in sharing deeply hidden feelings is that I will repel what friends I have with cynical and negative thoughts…so you keep on smiling and acting (yes, sometimes it’s an act) like everything is peachy when, in fact, your heart is bleeding from wounds that have never healed. But who wants someone around who’s crying all the time, right. It takes real courage to share real feelings and face the repercussions and risks of losing again. But if that be the case, you never had what you think you’ll lose anyway, right, and you’re better off without? Maybe. You're right about so much, Victoria, slowing down, keeping busy with creating something. It helps to write and imagine and play music. I’ve gotten off the path of the original thread here and am very near actually opening a door to my soul…and my experiences can by no means in any way compare to the horrors lived by those who have been witness to Viet Nam...or any war...but there is no one to comfort me while I cry so that door is best kept closed to separate me from the person known to all.  I’m such a coward. Blessings,